I'll Write My Way Out

"Running on empty, 
There was nothing left in me
But doubt.
I picked up a pen
And wrote my way out."

From Hamilton Mixtape by Lin-Manuel Miranda

I'm obsessed with the Tony-Award-winning musical Hamilton. The obsession makes my family want to evict me at times, but I can't shake it. I first witnessed a performance of the opening number "Alexander Hamilton" on the 2016 Grammys and fell in love with it. It sparked something in me because it was different. It was refreshing and exciting, and it made me wish I was a history teacher so I could use it to teach students about how our nation came to be. 

I do not remember studying Alexander Hamilton in school, although I'm sure he was mentioned at some point, so his story was totally new to me. What fascinates me most about him is that his legacy was built mainly through his writing. His ability with words inspired community businessmen to raise money to send him to New York for an education. His ability with words got him into the inner circle of George Washington. His ability with words not only helped with the writing of the Constitution but helped convince the American people that a Constitution was needed. Hamilton's words transformed him from an impoverished orphan in the British West Indies to a founding father of the incredibly powerful nation we call the United States of America. Wow!

{Words heal and reveal me}

The written word is an important part of my life, not only because I'm an English teacher, but because words heal and reveal me. During the worst periods of my life, I wrote. My words were not meant to inspire others or to elevate the English language; they were meant simply to get me through. I was writing my way out. My way out of the sadness, hopelessness, loneliness, or fearfulness I was feeling. Putting those thoughts and emotions in words seemed to help me really feel them and to see why I was feeling them...and how it was possible to rise above them.

Praise Jesus that I am not in one of those periods of life right now. (*Knock on wood and lift my hands toward Heaven in hallelujahs*) During the periods of life when I am happy and content, I tend not to write nearly as much. This blog is my first effort in changing that. I am happy. I am blessed. I am content. But there is plenty still to reveal about myself during these times. And even plenty to heal.

{I still need to write myself out of self-doubt, frustration, complacency, and failure}

So I say ALL of that to say...My blog is going to take a new path for a while. I am going to seek to reveal and to heal myself where I am now. In this place of happiness and joy, I still need to write myself out of self-doubt, frustration, complacency, and failure, to name a few. Write yourself out with me, will you? You'll be surprised how words can transform you if you will just put pen to paper (or fingers to keys, in my case).

Challenge extended.

Fooling around...and around...and around

Proverbs 9:13-18

13 The woman Folly is rowdy;

she is gullible and knows nothing.

14 She sits by the doorway of her house,

on a seat at the highest point of the city,

15 calling to those who pass by,

who go straight ahead on their paths:

16 “Whoever is inexperienced, enter here!”

To the one who lacks sense, she says,

17 “Stolen water is sweet,

and bread eaten secretly is tasty!”

18 But he doesn’t know that the departed spirits are there,

that her guests are in the depths of Sheol.

Folly. Foolishness. Lacking sense. All three of these terms are a slap in the face to anyone who is described by them. Nobody wants to be called a fool or to be told their actions are nothing but foolishness. The term fool has come to mean the same thing as idiot, moron, dimwit. And these verses from Proverbs that call Folly a gullible know-nothing would seem to support that definition. But I see foolishness a little differently than just being ignorant. Foolishness is a step beyond just not knowing. A fool is one of two kinds of people: Fool #1) someone who could learn but has no desire to, and Fool #2) someone who understands what is right but chooses to take the wrong path anyway. 

In verse 16, the woman (of course) Folly calls out to "whoever is inexperienced" in an effort to get the first kind of fool to join her. As we walk through life, we experience these types of fools every day. Some days we are these types of fools. When we don't listen to the advice of a wise friend who cares about us. When we speak before we have all of the information. When we judge others before getting to know them. In each of these cases, we do not believe we are doing anything wrong. We act according to what we think we know. We could take the time to listen to our friend's heart and carefully consider his or her advice rather than believing we know better, but we don't. We could ask a few questions and make sure we understand the details of a situation before we lash out, but we don't. We could sit down and have a conversation with the person before we believe the gossip we have heard about them, but we don't. We behave foolishly, not because we are incapable of behaving wisely, but because we choose to act in ignorance rather than seeking wisdom. As we grow as people and as Christians, we are constantly encountering situations that are new. No matter how old we get, there are areas in which we are inexperienced. We need wisdom. And when we fail to acknowledge our need for wisdom or fail to take a deep breath and realize we have a need for wisdom, our inexperience often leads us in the wrong direction, causing us to sin. 

The next type of person Folly beckons is "the one who lacks sense." This type of fool is just as common as the first. And we, as Christians, are just as guilty of being this type of fool as the other. This type of fool KNOWS the right thing to do but CHOOSES to do what is wrong. We know lying is wrong, but we do it anyway. We know it's wrong to gossip, but we do it anyway. We know it's wrong to eat that entire cake, but we do it anyway. These types of fools are the worst because they are so very intentionally foolish. And I am as guilty as the next person. Verse 17 says, “Stolen water is sweet, and bread eaten secretly is tasty!” And Folly is right about that, at least some of the time. Because sometimes getting away with a lie is a bit exhilarating. Sometimes gossiping feeds our curiosity and we actually enjoy it. Sometimes we feel accomplished when we eat that entire cake that no one even knew we bought. And that is the rub. Sometimes, just sometimes, sin is fun. Yep. I said it. We know we are sinning, and we do it anyway because it's fun. 

And we break God's heart. 

We aren't here to feed our curiosity. We aren't here to be exhilarated. We aren't here to have fun. We are here to love others and to love God. And gossip hurts. Lies hurt. Gluttony hurts (believe me). The fun doesn't last, guys. But it's almost like we forget every time. And we just do it again. Hurting God. Hurting others. Hurting ourselves. We are fools. We have the capability to gain wisdom and to act with wisdom, but we CHOOSE not to. I don't know about you, but that sounds like a bunch of dimwits to me.